Thinking back to my time spent thus far I can honestly say that it has been very uplifting for me. I arrived in South Africa with the ambition to serve in a community with kids that live a life completely different than mine. I have a little less than a month till I arrive home to California and I have been dealing with the struggle of what I am going to do when I return. Through time spent serving here, I have been able to learn a lot about myself, and a lot about God. I am incredibly grateful for; yet fearful of the freedom God gives us in life. I can’t help but sometimes wish God would just tell me which direction to go. I was encouraged by a quote by Martin Luther, as found on my sister’s blog olivemepost.com.
“Discipleship is not limited to what you can comprehend – it must transcend all comprehension. Plunge into the deep waters beyond your own comprehension, and I will help you to comprehend even as I do. Bewilderment is the true comprehension. Not to know where you are going is the true knowledge. My comprehension transcends yours. Thus Abraham went forth from his father and not knowing whither he went. He trusted himself to my knowledge, and cared not for his own, and thus he took the right road and came to his journey’s end. Behold, that is the way of the cross. You cannot find it yourself, so you must let me lead you as though you were a blind man. Wherefore it is not you, no man, no living creature, but I myself, who instruct you by my word and Spirit in the way you should go. Not the work which you choose, not the suffering you devise, but the road which is clean contrary to all that you choose or contrive or desire – that is the road you must take. To that I call you and in that you must be my disciple. “- Martin Luther quoted by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Cost of Discipleship
As I see this I realize that this is exactly the life I have asked for in my worship and prayer. This is supposed to be the life we all asked for when we gave our lives to Christ. So many times I have said the prayer, God use me. As I looked up the definition of the word ‘used’ it stated; to be employed in accomplishing something. From my time spent here in South Africa, I can honestly say that God has been using me. He has allowed me to spread love to a group of kids through the sport of surfing and through the act of fellowship. My life is in the hands of the creator, if it was in my hands, I can guarantee you I wouldn’t be where I am at right now in South Africa. That’s what I find exciting about this life, and that is why I strive to not worry about anything, but in everything give praise. For in the end, I have been given far more than I deserve.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28